To Diet or Not to Diet?

Hi All,

With all my new health developments I am trying to research ways to make life easier on my body. Now that I am used to my medicine things are better but I am still achy and have had sleep troubles because of pain. Everything I have read says that I need to heal my gut before I do anything else. I have to admit I have not been eating the best lately. So, I guess I will give it a try.

A lot of articles suggest that Sjogren's is linked to Celiac's disease. For those of you who don't know, Celiac's is a gluten intolerance basically. I have not found out if I have this or not but I am seriously hoping NOT! I love bread waay too much for this to hit me. My mother has it and I have watched her basically give up on eating bread regularly. It is a sad thing.

I have "dieted" in the past and I always told myself I will cut back on things but I will never give up bread completely. So, here I am faced with this conundrum. I don't see my rheumatologist until the end of October so I am seeing what I can do until then to help my body. My mom really thinks I have at least a gluten sensitivity and wants me to try going gluten free to see what happens. The problem with that is- besides the obvious- going gluten free doesn't mean I will be "healthier" or have the potential of losing weight from it.

JK I have a lot more to lose than that ;D

Some gluten free products have more calories and sugar to compensate for the lack of gluten. I know it sounds weird but it is true. With this problem I am going to try and see what I can do without some gluten free options and be very mindful of the calories and sugar intake. I do not want to gain unnecessary weight because this option seems better, "healthier", or whatever.

I wanted to put it out there and see what you all thought about this. Does anyone have Celiac's and found certain brands are better than others? Has anyone gone gluten free and not had a health reason that forced them? Also, if anyone has comments or thoughts about Sjogren's in general that would be helpful as well since I am new to this whole thing! Your comments and thoughts are welcome and always appreciated. Until next time!

One Step At A Time

Hi All,

There was another break in our regularly scheduled updates unfortunately. I apologize for the lack of updates but I have a good reason for it.

I have just recently been diagnosed with both mental illness and an autoimmune disease. I had no idea and it explains a lot about what I have been feeling the last 2 years. I have an autoimmune disease called Sjogren's syndrome. The short of it is my white blood cells are attacking my saliva glands and joints. I have mild symptoms right now but all of the muscle and joint aches are caused by this. Explains why I have trouble getting myself moving some mornings.

Anyways, it has been a rough road for me the past couple months. I have felt sicker than I ever have before in the worst "I am sorta functioning" way. Sleeping is a chore because I am either sleeping way too much or have severe insomnia. My body hurts and I get headaches a lot more than I ever have. All of this combined with my mental illness and struggles with that are making life very difficult.

But on a more positive note, I am working for a company I love doing something rewarding that has a flexible schedule. I am getting answers and better at managing things everyday. I have great friends all over the world who support and love me and some who are trying to get me my dream job. Kelly has always been an ear and sends me encouraging messages that help me more than she knows. Her journey is still going strong and I love seeing updates from her. She is very busy these days too with her grown up job and getting married to the love of her life. We have both missed out on a few posts but we hope you readers are still interested in our crazy lives.

I now have a schedule where I have enough energy to go back to the gym so I will see how I do with that in the coming week. I also am seeing a rheumatologist soon to figure out where I can go from here. Thank you everyone for being patient and keeping up with our blog! Hopefully, we will be here more often once again!

Health Over All

Hi All,

I am back again! Thankfully Kelly has been updating you all on her fantastic journey with Matt. (So Proud *squee!*)

Anyways, I apologize for my absence. I had a lot going on just as Kelly was learning to balance work and life, I too was dealing with that. I have been struggling with my health overall recently. I am still making strides to eat well and exercise but what those mean to me changed recently.

I have been having a lot of mental health issues dealing with anxiety and depression. It is always difficult to explain how one feels with both of these because it is vastly different from person to person. For me, I lost the light happy feeling I had about life. I lost my ability to think rationally and positively. I became irritable, snappy, and moody especially with my family. I became withdrawn and lethargic. It was all I could do to get out of bed and go to the bedroom let alone take a shower.

At the same time, I was starting a new part time job to make some money while I look for my career and finish up some things here. The job is Starbucks. Nothing glamorous about that but its money. I was stressing about the job, about my family, about every little detail of life that I began having panic attacks regularly and during my second week of training I had to leave early and take a day off to get myself functional again. That's when I decided something needed to change.

I went to the doctor for a check up and told them about my anxiety and depression and the panic attacks. They gave me a depression test, looked at the results, their eyes widened and then they said, "let's talk medicine". I was so nervous to be put on medicine for this but I knew that I couldn't control myself anymore and I desperately needed help. I am now on anti-depression medication and it has taken a toll on my body physically as it does to all people who have to take it. Emotionally and mentally though, I feel a million times better! I am happy again, I am clear headed. I am not bogged down by emotions, stress, and pressure from my own worrying.

To me this is a giant step towards my overall health. I feel like myself again and I can finally have the energy to work towards my goals. These past two months have been really hard on me but I think things are starting to look up. I get decent exercise at my job now being on my feet 6+ hours but I miss lifting weights like I used to. The doctor said exercise helps with depression and anxiety so I am finding a balance so I can hit the gym again.

My only problem right now is my lack of appetite. Food is unappealing to me which if anyone knows me is crazy talk. I love food normally but on this medication it makes it difficult to want to eat. I have been doing well eating regularly but it hasn't been all the fruits and vegetables and protein like I would. I eat whatever sounds good and has calories since when I do eat it is little and infrequent. I have lost weight on this medication already from my mostly liquid diet. I am slowly trying to eat more solid foods but I think I will just have to take it one step at a time.

Either way, I am paying attention to my health, physically, mentally, and emotionally. I urge everyone to not just think about your physical health but all of it. It can affect so many parts of your life. Also, if you need anyone to talk to about anxiety and depression please feel free to send me a message. You are never alone. Thank you all for allowing me to share and continuing to read our blog! Till next time!

Making Strides

Last week wasn't quite as active as I'd have wanted as far as running goes; there was only a day or two where I actually got out an ran.  That's not to say that I wasn't active (yoga and disc golf took the place of running most days), but I do want to be able to run a mile without stopping and practice makes perfect 😉

On Thursday, Matt and I did get out for a run after work and it ended up leaving me feeling empowered while wanting to die.  We're working on building the actual amount of time I can run consecutively, even the distance covered isn't very far.  My pace, essentially, resembles a turtle trying to move through molasses.

Even though I wasn't breaking any personal records for speed, though, I managed to jog for five minutes straight without stopping.  It felt like a major accomplishment...

But I also felt like I might collapse...

That's when the next five minute run began.  In my mind, I thought that if I was able to do it once, a second time would be no problem; I was extremely wrong.  Stopping to catch my breathe, walk, and attempt to not collapse happened once (for a full minute, so not the best), but the was a really clear example to me of how running is not going to always be a consistent, upward climb.  I was shaking a bit and unable to catch my breathe.  The whole "breathe in through your nose, out through your mouth" thing made it feel like my lungs couldn't catch up and that the air just wasn't coming in fast enough.  It helped having another person there to ensure that I actually was breathing, even if it didn't entirely feel like it.  

Even though I knew that the successes will come in spurts and I'll take them as I get them, it's still easier to know it and harder to accept it when it happens.  Running with the wins helps overcome the want to call it quits when things don't quite go the way I would have hoped they would, but keeping myself accountable for getting the run in and continuing to build up an endurance is what I'm working for.  I've just got to keep remembering that it's a process.

Gear Matters

So, this entry is about things that have already happened (I wasn't able to post it before my life was without internet), but are part of the whole fitness journey which is why we’re going to talk about them anyway.

First thing I learned when Matt and I started running together: gear matters.  My graduation gift to myself and from Matt was essentially running stuff that made me feel comfortable, cool, and excited to get started.  I’ll admit to a little vanity and when we went to Old Navy for a running hat for Matt not long after graduation, I saw some pretty cute running shorts, shirts, and sports bras.  I figure, if I’m going to feel miserable, might as well feel like I at least look cute, right? Right. **These purchases were also encouraged by the fiancé** So, that happened along with shoes actually meant for running (I haven’t worn something with arches in For. Ever.), a phone holder that was on-sale at Dick’s, and a new yoga mat from Wal-Mart because my old one is about 6 years old and actually falling apart.

It might be weird to say, but having clothes, shoes, and “accessories” (yoga mat and phone arm-band thing) that I like and feel good in makes me look forward to working out more than I did in the past.  I honestly always thought that if I was going to get sweaty and gross, why bother?  But this helps put me in the right mindset for getting sweaty and gross and enjoying it a little more.

That being said, my second day running (with all of the feel-good gear) involved a personal best: a mile just under 12 minutes.  Talk about starting on a high note.  Between then and now there have been other achievements and more than a couple of road bumps, but I have a feeling this will stand out as a good way to start off the road to running.

‘Til next time!

Work/Health Balance

Hi all!

So, I'm back!  I moved last month and we have been without internet until a few days ago.  It was... frustrating, to say the least.

My reaction to the internet customer service people

In that time I've moved, interviewed jobs, been offered (and accepted) a full-time job selling elevators (yeah, I know it sounds odd, but it's GREAT!), and begun adulting, slowly, but surely. 

With the start of this new job, it's been a struggle to find as much time as I'd like to engage in physical activity.  I commute an hour each way to work so, by the time I get home, I'm usually spent and only interested in dinner and sleep.

Matt and I have slowly gotten into a pattern, though, where I'll text him when I'm on my way home from work and I'll let him know if I'm up for a run. If I tell him I am, he holds me to it, even if it's a short 15 minute workout.

I'm also finding that, now that I've gotten into a bit of a rhythm, yoga on Saturdays is a great way to kick off the first full day of a weekend.

Life goals

The yoga is actually doing wonders for my back, which gets super stiff after sitting at a desk all week.

I'm still finding balance, and not as active as I'd like to be even with a crazy work schedule, but it'll come. 

If you've found anything that helps you keep a nice work/life/exercise balance, share in the comments! I'd love to hear more ideas. 💙🏃

Manifesto

Hello All, 

This is an extra post this week because I wanted to share some encouragement for all of you women out there struggling with how you look, feel, or think. 

While I was in graduate school I took a class on feminism. It wasn't a bash you over the head with it kind of class. In fact, I learned a lot about myself as a women and I can only thank Dr. Buchanan for that one. One of our assignments in class was to write a manifesto. I wanted to share that with you all as well as a song that I think has a great message and goes together with my thoughts. For everyone out there, You are enough just as you are. 

Strong is the New Sexy Manifesto

Never tell someone your number.

Not the digits for future flirty contact like you’d think.

Not the “don’t talk to strangers” mom rule either.

No, it’s the number on the scale.

That dreaded machine that determines weight.

The one that haunters doctor’s offices since you came into this world.

You are supposed to be feminine, petite.

Women are small, delicate creatures.

Women don’t have shapes.

You should be a fluid line.

Lose some weight, fat ass.

Cut calories.

Cut carbs.

Diet.

You don’t fit-

The type every guy wants.

I’m curvy.

I’m husky.

I’m big boned.

Excuses.

Why don’t you look like the other girls?

They have no problem.

You just don’t try hard enough.

The secret to beauty is pain.

Just eat less.

Drink more water.

Give up sugar.

Gotta get that thigh gap or else you’re trash.

You’ll always be alone

If you don’t try.

Make babies, that’s your purpose.

But don’t look like you’re a baby maker.

Pretty girls are delicate.

You are not.

Feel comfortable in your body

Only if it looks a certain way.

We don’t like fat people.

Whatever happened to being yourself?

Whatever happened to health?

Whatever happened to different body types?

Who are you to say I’m fat?

Why do I have to be skinny?

What if I want to be strong?

Muscles make women bulky.

You will look like a man,

Or worse, a dike.

Women are supposed to need help.

Women are weak.

Be gentle.

Be fair.

Be lovely.

Don’t be yourself.

Don’t love yourself.

Don’t have confidence.

You’re disgusting.

Who would want to rape you?

Fat chicks aren’t rape-able.

Gross. 

Well I say we forget it.

Forget all this rhetoric

The things we’ve heard.

Fat shame

Morbidly obese

Body image

You are not defined by these things.

You are not a number.

You are a person.

Height

Weight

Pants size

Breast size

What does it matter?

Every woman is built different.

Every woman is beautiful.

Every woman is enough.

            Just as you are.

Love your curves.

Love your bones.

Love your smooth skin.

Love your cellulite.

Love your blemishes.

Love your imperfections.

Love yourself.

Because loving yourself makes you strong.

And strong is the new sexy.