On Thursday, Matt and I did get out for a run after work and it ended up leaving me feeling empowered while wanting to die. We're working on building the actual amount of time I can run consecutively, even the distance covered isn't very far. My pace, essentially, resembles a turtle trying to move through molasses.
Even though I wasn't breaking any personal records for speed, though, I managed to jog for five minutes straight without stopping. It felt like a major accomplishment...
But I also felt like I might collapse...
That's when the next five minute run began. In my mind, I thought that if I was able to do it once, a second time would be no problem; I was extremely wrong. Stopping to catch my breathe, walk, and attempt to not collapse happened once (for a full minute, so not the best), but the was a really clear example to me of how running is not going to always be a consistent, upward climb. I was shaking a bit and unable to catch my breathe. The whole "breathe in through your nose, out through your mouth" thing made it feel like my lungs couldn't catch up and that the air just wasn't coming in fast enough. It helped having another person there to ensure that I actually was breathing, even if it didn't entirely feel like it. Even though I knew that the successes will come in spurts and I'll take them as I get them, it's still easier to know it and harder to accept it when it happens. Running with the wins helps overcome the want to call it quits when things don't quite go the way I would have hoped they would, but keeping myself accountable for getting the run in and continuing to build up an endurance is what I'm working for. I've just got to keep remembering that it's a process.
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